Billy Boy and First Love: Their Life Together
Now those who have been here before, sat a spell, and listened to the tales of Billy Boy, know that First Love joined him some time after most of his daring escap-ades. True, she and for that matter me and my brother, did share in some of the adventures I’ve told of Billy Boy. Oh, I suspect you must of read by now the story of, “Smith River Run”, when First Love was sure Billy Boy had poisoned her, or the time of, “Santiam Summer”, when we durn near lost Billy Boy, and of course you’ve seen the story of, “The Cabin” when the creature appeared, or perhaps you are aware of, “Dateline”, when First Love was carrying me and my twin brother and took an unplanned spill down the Coos River canyon! Other adventures of Billy Boy include, "Railroad Trestle" when old number 99 could have wiped out Bill Boy and his whole crew! "Disaster" recalls the event that became a major defining episode in young Billy Boy's life! The poem, "A Story Untold", in this section of collected Billy Boy compositions tells of his dramatic and harsh childhood, the villainous behavior of his father leading to the loss of both parents, and the split up of his brothers and sisters.
Now those who have been here before, sat a spell, and listened to the tales of Billy Boy, know that First Love joined him some time after most of his daring escap-ades. True, she and for that matter me and my brother, did share in some of the adventures I’ve told of Billy Boy. Oh, I suspect you must of read by now the story of, “Smith River Run”, when First Love was sure Billy Boy had poisoned her, or the time of, “Santiam Summer”, when we durn near lost Billy Boy, and of course you’ve seen the story of, “The Cabin” when the creature appeared, or perhaps you are aware of, “Dateline”, when First Love was carrying me and my twin brother and took an unplanned spill down the Coos River canyon! Other adventures of Billy Boy include, "Railroad Trestle" when old number 99 could have wiped out Bill Boy and his whole crew! "Disaster" recalls the event that became a major defining episode in young Billy Boy's life! The poem, "A Story Untold", in this section of collected Billy Boy compositions tells of his dramatic and harsh childhood, the villainous behavior of his father leading to the loss of both parents, and the split up of his brothers and sisters.
Thus, began for Billy Boy a history of overcoming adversity with courage, persistence and unwaving belief in the "good".
Well, now maybe it is time you meet First Love, or at least come to know her through my memories of her, and the life she shared with Billy Boy.
First Love was twenty-three and Billy Boy thirty-four when they got hitched in Vancouver, Washington, September 16, 1938. Yup, eleven years difference in age between them two. Their marriage was the second time for both. You know, as I look back on it I find it amazing, even remarkable, how open the both of them were about their earlier marriages, divorce them days was not as common as today. I know folks, as you probably do, who never talk about such things, keeping such stuff hidden as though it were a catching disease! First Love and Billy Boy talked of events that took place which led to the failed relationships. I am glad they did. Because it was through such telling of events past that brought richness to my life. Neither Billy Boy nor First Love had young’ns the first time, well that isn’t quite accurate, First Love, Dorie, she was called by all, had a stillbirth in her first marriage.
First Love was twenty-three and Billy Boy thirty-four when they got hitched in Vancouver, Washington, September 16, 1938. Yup, eleven years difference in age between them two. Their marriage was the second time for both. You know, as I look back on it I find it amazing, even remarkable, how open the both of them were about their earlier marriages, divorce them days was not as common as today. I know folks, as you probably do, who never talk about such things, keeping such stuff hidden as though it were a catching disease! First Love and Billy Boy talked of events that took place which led to the failed relationships. I am glad they did. Because it was through such telling of events past that brought richness to my life. Neither Billy Boy nor First Love had young’ns the first time, well that isn’t quite accurate, First Love, Dorie, she was called by all, had a stillbirth in her first marriage.
Billy Boy’s first wife was a nurse in Coos Bay, he worked as a sawyer in a local lumber mill. According to him, she took to drinking too much. One day after work, Billy Boy comes home and finds her passed out cold stone drunk on the bathroom floor. He left the house and never returned!
First Love’s first husband, damn if I can now recall his name, though I was told a number of times, was also older but as I remember being told, a mean one. I think his name started with a “C”, but shoot, guess it’s not really important now, huh? One time, in later years, Billy Boy had to put him to the ground when the guy refused to follow the rules where Billy Boy was working in a Portland City park, I think he was drunk as was the usual case for him, so I’ve been told. His sister Margaret, and Norm, Margaret’s husband, and her seven kids from a previous marriage, continued close family friends through all the years following First Love’s divorce from Margaret’s brother. Billy Boy really liked them folks and so did I as I grew older. They are all gone. Have been for some time now.
You know, Margaret, she was sorta like a second grandma to us. Her mannerisms, as Billy Boy would say, “put me in the mind of” a Southern Belle which was where she was from, North Carolina I think it was, or maybe the South Carolina. Anyways, Margaret was some lady! With her dyed red hair, auburn kinda really, elongated face, square jaw, and a slight soft southern accent, she entered any room with a flare. I used to think she was a bossy person specially when she had to look after me and my brother when she and her Norm, Billy Boy, First Love and us all went camping at either East or Paulina Lake in Central Oregon. When the fishing folks left camp to fish, which didn’t include Margaret because she didn’t fish…well at least not with a pole or line but to hear her tell it, she knew where the fish hung out, how to snag ‘em and land ‘em…she was afraid of the water I think…us two kids were left on shore with her. She was like sorta… kinda… well… I suppose Margaret was really in charge of us I must admit.
Anyways, when the others were gone fishing, Margaret chased me and my brother around the campground because, we…. well, he he he…I remember one time, we were around nine or so, we found a boat pulled up on shore, shoved it off into the water and started rowing. Oh, Margaret was not far behind us, running along the shoreline yelling that we get back here right now and threatening us with all kinds of dire consequences! I don’t recall now just what we did, but I do know it was funnier then hell, seeing old Margaret running up and down the bank waving her arms at us and shouting that we were in for it! I don’t remember now if we really got it for doing that! I sure do miss that lady and her Norm.
I can remember clearly the time I last saw Margaret, just before she passed away. On that special night I went with Billy Boy to visit her, she was bed ridden and quite badly off. Margaret raised up from her bed and gave me hug. She passed away not to long after that visit with her. I am glad I got to see her then. It wasn’t to long after that when Norm joined with her in eternal life. Not to many years ago I went to a memorial for one of her last surviving sons. I still have the little crystal creamer and sugar Margaret and Norm gave me when I married. Yup, she was something else, Margaret was. Well, anyways, you dropped by to hear of First Love, Dorie, so guess I oughta get back to that telling.
First Love’s maiden name was Doris Spencer. It wasn’t until later years that she decided or found out that Doris was spelled with one “r”. But for many years she spelled it with two “r’s”. I had the two “r’s” engraved on her headstone back there in 19 and 94.
Not a large person, First Love in fact could be described as the runt of the Spencer family but for gawds sake don’t tell her I said that, she would go ballistic! All the rest of them, the oldest a sister, and two brothers were much taller and sturdier than First Love. I’d say she stood about 5’5” but maybe a little bit more, and her weight in younger years probably was around 105-10 or so, but then again I am not too good at estimated people’s weight. Like most of us, as First Love aged, she gained a little weight. But she could never be described as fat.
I have a framed picture of First Love as a child, it sits in my living room along with the wedding picture of her and Billy Boy. First Love was indeed quite an attractive lady, with a winning smile, flirtatious brown eyes and soft auburn hair always wore fashionably. I can close my eyes and picture seeing her all decked-out and fancied up in a flowing pink floor length gown. This was sometime in the late 40’s or early 50’s when she and Billy Boy joined the “Order of the Odd Fellows”, I was never sure just what those odd fellers was! First Love greeted lodge folks, if I am recalling it right, at that Odd Feller’s meeting place. My gawd, what a name for a social club! First Love and Billy Boy weren’t odd!
First Love rests where her mother, Lina and stepfather are buried. And it is kinda of ironic, I think, First Love’s birth father, damn if I can recall his first name right now, though I think it was Everett, he passed when First Love was six or seven, lies not more than a quarter mile away from where I am penning this recall! Even more telling, First Love, along with her mother, stepfather, and her two older brothers are buried up on the hill, Mt. Scott, about a mile and a half from where I am sitting. Their resting places overlook an area of Southeast Portland called “Lents” where they were raised up and went to school. The big old two-story, wooden Lents School house was the main structure in the area until the “205” freeway was put in. The schoolhouse has been torn down, no longer safe for kids and in the way. A Boys and Girls Club now stands pretty close to that spot. The whole durn area kinda fell apart when the scoundrels down in Portland City Hall decided the “205” freeway should be put in, I think that was sometime back in the early ‘70’s. But Lents is coming back. The new fellers at City Hall have agreed that our area is worth spending some money on to remake what the other “do-gooders” had destroyed with their fancy freeway! Well, goodness, I’ve strayed again from the subject I was telling about!
Let me finish this part by letting you know I do get up the hill once in awhile to say hello to those there. I feel a very real and mighty powerful connection when I stand at the break of the crest and look down upon the area where First Love and her family once lived, as I now do.
Let me finish this part by letting you know I do get up the hill once in awhile to say hello to those there. I feel a very real and mighty powerful connection when I stand at the break of the crest and look down upon the area where First Love and her family once lived, as I now do.
I need to stray some here from speaking directly about First Love. Because you see, there was a connection between the Spencer’s and Billy Boy before him and First Love ever got together. You need to know about those people who in the beginning came together, and it is from those times the history of First Love and Billy Boy even has a beginning! Then too, these folks are present throughout First Love and Billy Boy lifetime together.
Now you’ve read in one of the stories where Billy Boy had really planned to marry his childhood sweetheart, Barbara? Her, mother, Myra, as I have told, ran the Yacolt Hotel, in Billy Boy’s hometown of the same name just a bit northwest of Vancouver, Washington. It was Myra who took Billy Boy in when orphaned at age twelve, or about close to that age, following the passing of his mother and the despicable deed of his father ("A Story Untold"). You see, Myra and her husband, John Duhr were somewhat like grandparents to us on Billy Boy’s side. So if you’ve listened carefully here, you should now understand the growing relationship between Billy Boy and Barbara?
Billy Boy and Barbara, and Billy Boy’s best friend “Cannery Bob” and his gal friend, Dorothy who was Barbara’s best friend often could be seen together about town and at the local Grange Hall dances on a Friday night. You probably will recall the story I’ve told about “Cannery” getting throwed jail and leaving Billy Boy and the two ladies almost stranded one time when they took their activities to Portland?( "Billy Boy and Disaster"). Well to move on to the point here, as it worked out neither Billy Boy nor Bob married the women they were with during those daring times. In fact, Barbara married, now pay attention here….Eddy Spencer, First Love’s brother! They divorced though not to long after the marriage. Now it doesn’t take a great mind to figure out how Billy Boy and First love came to meet each other, does it? All of these folks continued to be a part of First Love and Billy Boy's life.
"Cannery" Bob, Billy Boy’s closest friend, married later in life and moved to Alaska. He and his wife "came-out”, as they say in Alaska, to visit First Love and Billy Boy, most often during holiday times. I remember one holiday time when Cannery's visit could have resulted in disaster for us. It was during this visit that the smoldering fire that I've told about in another piece happened, but was put out by Billy Boy and Cannery before it could do any damage.
Eddy, First Love's brother, remarried, worked as a Chef here in Portland. He and his wife raised three children. Course I see and talk with those family members still here with us. More about him a little later on.
Dorothy, well she and her future husband, Ray is another set of family friends who lasted through time. In fact, when I worked in real estate sales I sold their home so’s they could move closer to a daughter as they faced poor health. When Dorothy’s mother reached her 105th birthday, yup, you heard right, 105 isn’t that amazing! I wrote a poem for her which was read at her birthday gathering. The poem, “A Birthday Celebration: For A Grand Lady of One Hundred and Five!”, is here among my other written material. That was the first time anything I had written was read in public! Soon after that time, all these folks were gone, except for Barbara.
Her? Well the last I knew Barbara was in a nursing home in Spokane, Alzheimer's disease taking its terrible toll. She undoubtedly has passed on by the time of this tale. It’s sad, all these grand people are now gone, taking history with them. I have pictures of most of them in my living room, and I have memories, and some belongings that came as gifts from them, specially from Barbara which keeps these memories profoundly alive for me. Whew! Have you ever sat down and thought about such family connecting relationships, let alone trying to tell of them? For me at the moment it is creating a flood of emotions. Ah, well, back to the main point here, First Love.
First Love always had high expectations for her self and for those around her. Why just three weeks before she joined Billy Boy in the heavens, she was washing her kitchen walls! She would have been mortified had she seen what I seen behind the wallpaper in the kitchen when I starting getting the house ready for sale! Wow! And, she had a hard struggle when one did not measure up to where she put the measure! She couldn’t understand it when I changed my direction in school. First Love had a hard time with that one. Guess I sort of disappointed her. She also found it difficult to accept replacement as the woman in her married sons lives, but then again, I guess that is a natural thing for most mother’s with sons, isn’t it?
A person of strong and determined character would describe First Love. Yes siree! She was definitely a scrapper, a wow to that notion! Oh, I don’t mean in a bullying, swaggering, bragging way which is seen in many folks now a-days. But you know as I think about it all, I recall First Love knew only two ways to do things, the wrong way and her way! I don’t know what lead to it, but I sure recollect seeing her take a big burley railroad worker by the nap of his neck and the seat of his rail-road bib over-alls and move him quickly and smoothly out the door of the tavern where she was working. Man, that guy knew he had a lioness on his tail! What a sight, 5’5” First Love herding the 6 foot plus 200 pound dude right down the aisle and out the door, whew!! I wonder what he did do, whatever it was, First Love as usual sure had that situation under control. He probably ignored her request to “alter” his behavior!! Silly man!
That episode brings to mind the time that Billy Boy and First Love had an argument, of sorts, perhaps a fuss would be a better word to use…this was the only time I recall ever seeing them argue! And it was a doozy!
It happened not to long after we moved to Portland from the Southern Oregon coastal area of North Bend-Coos Bay sometime after the start of the big war but before it ended, maybe around ‘43 or so. They both worked in the Oregon Shipyard building World War II Victory Ships. First Love was a welder, a working situation which eventually caused her terrible problems, and Billy Boy was a pipe fitter. This event took place around that same time Billy Boy wore the lampshade as I’ve told in one of his adventures. You surely remember that happening?
That episode brings to mind the time that Billy Boy and First Love had an argument, of sorts, perhaps a fuss would be a better word to use…this was the only time I recall ever seeing them argue! And it was a doozy!
It happened not to long after we moved to Portland from the Southern Oregon coastal area of North Bend-Coos Bay sometime after the start of the big war but before it ended, maybe around ‘43 or so. They both worked in the Oregon Shipyard building World War II Victory Ships. First Love was a welder, a working situation which eventually caused her terrible problems, and Billy Boy was a pipe fitter. This event took place around that same time Billy Boy wore the lampshade as I’ve told in one of his adventures. You surely remember that happening?
Well, now I no longer remember the words from that occasion, after all I was only around three or four! But I can still picture the scene! Our house had two bedrooms connected by a single bathroom. My brother and I had one, Billy Boy and First Love the other. One night sud-denly the door to our bedroom flung open, and there… there was Billy Boy either running or walking awfully fast wearing just long johns! He was headed for the bathroom door which he pulled open so fast it durn near came off the hinges! First Love was right behind him....I dont recall what she was wearing, but I'll never forget what she was carrying!!! To me it looked like a one huge block of wood, like a battering ram!! And she was banging poor old Billy Boy over the head with it! Well theys disappeared into the bathroom and outta sight, and on in to their bedroom...I never knew what that was about, nor did I ever again see the two of 'em argue or "fight"! Aint it funny what you remember from child-hood? Oh, by the way the "battering ram" was actually a small framed wall hanging of a crocheted figure that Myra had made for me and my brother. It sure looked big that night!! Geeish!
Telling that reminds me of another event which took place several years later, and a “happening” which I am sure First Love got after Billy Boy for not paying attention. And, it was all over a haircut for my brother.
Him and me were six or maybe almost seven, and I dont need to shut my eyes to bring back the picture of the events that took place that awful day!! Billy Boy takes me and my brother to a barber, Sammy, who had been a favorite of Billy Boy's back in his logging days. Sammy was a small man of stature, maybe about 5'6" or there abouts, slight of build, and slightly bald! I dont recall to much about his make up, but I guess he was quite a drinking feller. So, I am first in the chair. No problem apparently, or I dont recall any, and besides if there were, then I am sure what happened to my brother would not have happened! I dont know for sure, but I am making a pretty good guess that Sammy was al-ready on his way to being "under the influence", and probably took a couple more swigs of whatever he was drinking before my brother climbed into the barber's chair.
Well, old Sammy snookered by now, starts cutting....only trouble is, he is not looking where he is cutting!!! He cut a wide path into the hair on the right side of my brother’s head! Now there is no way to even that out or to make the other side look the sane....except to cut the left side the same way, leaving a middle swath of hair right on top. Today that would be called a "Mohican", but in them days it was a strange sight!! Well, I am sure Billy Boy knew he was in for it when he gets us back home and in First Love's sight! Wow, I wonder now how he prepared himself for the coming catastrophic collision? To be truthful about it all, because after the “chase event” First Love and Billy Boy didn’t play out their disagreements in front of us, I dont recall what First Love did or said to Billy Boy. But you can bet there were some choice dressing down words made that afternoon, and you also know that we were never again to see Sammy's barber chair! My poor embarrassed brother wore a baseball cap all the time to cover his "Mohican", and as I think back on it, this incident, and the resultant effect upon him was greater than known at the time. But the moral here is, “You dont mess with First Love's kids!
Without a doubt, First Love was a competitive soul! That just naturally followed her basic thinking about how the world was ordered or should be, that “there is only two ways to do things”. This same outlook followed First Love throughout her life including where she worked. Except for the Shipyard days, she at one time or another was a food or cocktail waitress, or a bartender. During the last several decades of her life she was a kitchen manager at Portland’s Memorial Coliseum. I recall frequently over-hearing her phone conversations with one or two of her fellow workers after returning home from work at the Coliseum. First Love, and I guess the other person, would rehash the day’s in’s and out’s, who did what and why and how it should have been done differently! Yup, First Love demanded a certain level of performance from those she encountered. Later on I’ll tell you of a time I called her on this…really shouldn’t have done it though! But let me finish this part, First Love’s competitive nature and how this played out in most of her relationships, including with her family members.
Without a doubt, First Love was a competitive soul! That just naturally followed her basic thinking about how the world was ordered or should be, that “there is only two ways to do things”. This same outlook followed First Love throughout her life including where she worked. Except for the Shipyard days, she at one time or another was a food or cocktail waitress, or a bartender. During the last several decades of her life she was a kitchen manager at Portland’s Memorial Coliseum. I recall frequently over-hearing her phone conversations with one or two of her fellow workers after returning home from work at the Coliseum. First Love, and I guess the other person, would rehash the day’s in’s and out’s, who did what and why and how it should have been done differently! Yup, First Love demanded a certain level of performance from those she encountered. Later on I’ll tell you of a time I called her on this…really shouldn’t have done it though! But let me finish this part, First Love’s competitive nature and how this played out in most of her relationships, including with her family members.
You see the whole Spencer family, except for the sister, including my grandmother, Lina, all worked in restaurants at one time or another. Lina, First Love’s mother, was at one time a “pantry woman”, but guess that title is not politically correct today, is it? Anyways, First Love’s two brothers were both chefs of some note, at least the youngest Eddy was. At one time he was the President of the “Chefs Society” here in Portland. For a while in my teens and early twenties I worked with Eddy in the kitchen at Hilaire’s Restaurant in downtown Portland. The restaurant which was a mainstay of the area is no longer there, it too has passed into history. I’ve written a piece about those times with my uncle, if you care to look it up among my writings, the title is, “Uncle”.
Well now, back to the story of First Love and her brothers. Never mind that these two guys had many years of experience in cooking beyond what their younger sister could legitimately claim. Never the less First Love took them on without any reservation or hesitation to “discuss” the merits of various cooking methods. I can recall a lively debate these three had one time about the silliest thing…how to fry an egg! These discussions really got spirited at times, ending frequently in irritation and crankiness for one or the other….but not lasting long at all. You know, I think her family members knew, unlike the railroad guy who learned to late, dont mess with First Love, she always got the last word in one way or another! I should of remembered that!
As promised, here is story of how I got into trouble with First Love one time by forgetting this notion. It happened several years after Billy Boy had passed. I had traveled up from Southern Oregon to visit First Love in Portland. During that visit I messed up and took her on in a debate, can’t recall just now what that was about. Well, actually I did it more than once though. But this one time, when First Love was playing her, "there are only two ways to do things, the wrong way or her way" card, I had a brain storm of an idea and called her “ St. Doris". I thought she would get a kick out of that likeness! Really I did. But she didn't! Pity the poor railroad idiot. I am her son, but that cut no slack with First Love! Sorry about that, I really shouldn't have said that, the St. Doris thing I mean. You should have seen the look on the faces of two of her friends who were there and witnessed that debacle. Astonishment does not cover the description, nope, and I can’t think of a word which would capture such looks! So much for being funny!
First Love was a “caretaker”. This was a role which she played off and on through her life with Billy Boy. I suspect she fell into that role with her mother after her father passed away. The older sister and brothers were out working to help support the family and not around much. Now, as I figure it, her father gone First Love, the youngest at six years of age, was probably Lina’s constant companion. But such attention from her mother carried for First Love the unspoken task of filling the empty space in her mother’s life left when my grandfather passed away. Lina, a devoutly religious woman, took her youngest daughter along with her on church missionary functions throughout the city. Lina was somewhat of a musician. She played a pump organ, the piano and must have had a neat singing voice before I got to know her, because I dont remember either my grandmother or First Love really caring a tune! At any rate, First Love told of stories singing with her mother on the street corners of Portland or in the halls of the city jail as the church sought to “save” the drunks and hobos of the city through preaching and gospel music. I am sure that must have been somewhat scary for a young girl. At the same time First Love, showing her independence, would, as she said, “sneak away” to ride the streetcar downtown to visit her, “corn-cob pipe smoking, Irish whiskey drinking” grandmother which she had been strictly forbidden to do. On one of those illicit trips, her grandmother taught her the Irish jig. I don’t think Lina was too happy with that one!
As her mother aged and lost her second husband, I was 10 or 11 at the time, First Love once again became the caregiver for Lina and eventually for other family members. With her stepfather gone, First Love and Billy Boy assumed the major tasks for looking after Lina. Moving her a number of times, seeing that she had medical care, and generally insuring that my grandmother was healthy, safe, and secure. She spent all holidays at our home, rarely spending extended periods at the other three adult children’s homes. When First Love’s older sister became ill with Parkinson’s Disease and was eventually confined for fourteen years in a nursing home before she left this world, it fell to First Love and Billy Boy to look after her interests. The poor soul was out of contact with reality during most of those years as a result of a drug-induced psychosis from over medication with L-Dopa.
As promised, here is story of how I got into trouble with First Love one time by forgetting this notion. It happened several years after Billy Boy had passed. I had traveled up from Southern Oregon to visit First Love in Portland. During that visit I messed up and took her on in a debate, can’t recall just now what that was about. Well, actually I did it more than once though. But this one time, when First Love was playing her, "there are only two ways to do things, the wrong way or her way" card, I had a brain storm of an idea and called her “ St. Doris". I thought she would get a kick out of that likeness! Really I did. But she didn't! Pity the poor railroad idiot. I am her son, but that cut no slack with First Love! Sorry about that, I really shouldn't have said that, the St. Doris thing I mean. You should have seen the look on the faces of two of her friends who were there and witnessed that debacle. Astonishment does not cover the description, nope, and I can’t think of a word which would capture such looks! So much for being funny!
First Love was a “caretaker”. This was a role which she played off and on through her life with Billy Boy. I suspect she fell into that role with her mother after her father passed away. The older sister and brothers were out working to help support the family and not around much. Now, as I figure it, her father gone First Love, the youngest at six years of age, was probably Lina’s constant companion. But such attention from her mother carried for First Love the unspoken task of filling the empty space in her mother’s life left when my grandfather passed away. Lina, a devoutly religious woman, took her youngest daughter along with her on church missionary functions throughout the city. Lina was somewhat of a musician. She played a pump organ, the piano and must have had a neat singing voice before I got to know her, because I dont remember either my grandmother or First Love really caring a tune! At any rate, First Love told of stories singing with her mother on the street corners of Portland or in the halls of the city jail as the church sought to “save” the drunks and hobos of the city through preaching and gospel music. I am sure that must have been somewhat scary for a young girl. At the same time First Love, showing her independence, would, as she said, “sneak away” to ride the streetcar downtown to visit her, “corn-cob pipe smoking, Irish whiskey drinking” grandmother which she had been strictly forbidden to do. On one of those illicit trips, her grandmother taught her the Irish jig. I don’t think Lina was too happy with that one!
As her mother aged and lost her second husband, I was 10 or 11 at the time, First Love once again became the caregiver for Lina and eventually for other family members. With her stepfather gone, First Love and Billy Boy assumed the major tasks for looking after Lina. Moving her a number of times, seeing that she had medical care, and generally insuring that my grandmother was healthy, safe, and secure. She spent all holidays at our home, rarely spending extended periods at the other three adult children’s homes. When First Love’s older sister became ill with Parkinson’s Disease and was eventually confined for fourteen years in a nursing home before she left this world, it fell to First Love and Billy Boy to look after her interests. The poor soul was out of contact with reality during most of those years as a result of a drug-induced psychosis from over medication with L-Dopa.
Then, from mid-life to death First Love’s oldest brother, Charlie, was in constant need of rescuing from one situation to another. At times he was either stranded in Reno after gambling away all his money, or he returned to Portland penniless and needing a place to live. Again, First Love and Billy Boy took on the responsibility of looking after the older brother. He passed on two months before First Love. Eddy Spencer, who had married Billy Boy’s girl friend then divorced her, passed away a month after his brother and one month before First Love. I am telling you this because I find it uncanny, the three of 'em passing within one month of the other!
Billy Boy never seemed to mind accepting what I consider his more than fair share of looking after, protecting and providing for First Love’s family members. I can clearly remember standing next to Billy Boy in ‘69 at the funeral service for his mother-in-law, my grandmother. It was the only time I ever saw him cry. I cried too. You know, I now wonder as I write about that event so many years ago, how much of my tears were shed for him knowing his tragic childhood and seeing him cry at Lina’s passing, a mother he had known and cared for longer than his own mother. Interesting thought, I bet it has some truth to it.
Unlike a lot of wives, First Love as I have told about here and in other adventures of Billy Boy, joined him in fishing and hunting. Now just like in other situations, she was never one to let pass an opportunity to instruct others how to fish or hunt, or to retell fishing stories of trips past. Billy Boy, he just sat back and let her go on, didn’t bother him a bit! But dang, First Love really was a good fishing person, often catching more fish than others! And she was a good sport. She would stay out in the worst weather, rain or shine and continue to “drown worms” as Billy Boy would say. When Billy Boy bought the cabin, that was one time when things got a little rough between ‘em! But, as I have told the story, that difficulty soon past and the cabin became our weekend, and longer destination for years. If you haven’t heard of that episode, you might give it a look.
The “Cabin” adventure tells of the history of the fishing-hunting “shack” as Billy Boy called it in LaPine, just south of Bend, Oregon. The tale recalls the time a creature almost had First Love! The cabin became the location for many adventures and first time events for Billy Boy and First Love or those who traveled with them to fish, hunt, or just laze around. By golly, I think I’ll tell you of one which became a significant historical moment in my early life!
It was one of the times that old “Flossie” went to the cabin with us, just to laze around as she didn't fish. Florence was her real name. She must have been at the time in her late fifties or early sixties, I don’t really know because you see, she had, during her younger years, been a “streetwalker” and by the time I knew her, Flossie’s body was pretty worn out and she appeared older than she actually was. She was toothless, which made it hard for a kid to understand her. Yup, and First Love and Billy Boy, like they often did for the down trodden, the lonely, the dispirited and the castaways, took her on as a friend and looked after her. Flossie was a regular patron at the “525” tavern where First Love was bartending.
Now, I gotta leave the course of this telling for a couple minutes here, because you see, it is here, at the “525” tavern where a lot of the folks who First Love and Billy Boy befriended and took care of came from and became part of our family life. There was, folks like Ray an angry young man in his mid-twenties who physically abused his then wife, later, with First Love’s and Billy Boy’s help, he settled down, got married again and was like an older brother to me. There was Virgil, an alcoholic, he had no one. He once sold my brother and me a 1929 Model T Ford…First Love was madder than hell at him for doing that. To stop us from driving it, she barrels out of the house one day armed with a meat fork and tried to puncture the solid rubber tires of that Model T with the tines. Now indeed that was a funny sight! Course it did nothing but twist the fork like a pretzel, making First Love even more madder than hell! Trying hard to contain our laughter, we quickly made an exit, avoiding further wrath from First Love! Virgil straightened out, got married and along with his wife, became an owner of a tavern on the Northern Oregon coast. “OB” was a lost soul without family, Peggy a psychic from Chicago, was an elderly lady who just passed through occasionally…she once read my “future”, and dang if she wasn’t almost 100% accurate! “Old Tom” from the park where Billy Boy worked, was a retired logger who immigrated from the old world to America, First Love and Billy Boy insured that he got the pension money owed him. Unforgettable was Pete, also an ex-logger. But unlike the others who traveled to the cabin with Billy Boy and First Love, one of his adventures there ended in tragedy casting a temporary dark shadow over the place. But that is a story better left for another time.
One of my favorite persons from the “525” was Neilson, “Nelly” that’s what everyone called him, what his full name was I never learned. Not being married, at least when I knew of him, he had no kids. Nelly was a “gandy” dancer” for the Union Pacific when in them days the road gangs stayed out on the tracks for periods of time. I think he was a cook for the gang, but I am not sure of that after all these years. Nelly was a big jolly man, always had a smile on his face, a round belly, and a full almost white beard, sounds like a Santa doesn’t he? Well that would certainly fit him. No matter where I saw him, at the “525” tavern, our home or the cabin, Nelly was a happy man and, unlike a lot of older folks without young’ns, he paid attention to kids, listening to our tales of discovery, and looking at the critters we caught and imprisoned in glass jars. Nelly often traveled with First Love and Billy Boy to the cabin. He liked to fish and had the nature required to sit quietly out on the lake in a boat sometimes hours at a time before a single fish was ever caught. Yup, he was a neat guy. I wish I knew what become of him, then I could tell you too, but over the years I’ve lost track.
There were many such friends, to many to tell about, who joined First Love and Billy Boy either at the cabin or at our home or most often at both places, and specially at holidays. Why I remember times when First Love and my grandmother Lina would fix a Christmas dinner and thirty-five or more people would crowd into our small Portland home to share in the festivities. Some needed the looking after which First Love and Billy Boy would freely give, others were just ordinary folks, but all brought a certain richness to the lives of First Love, Billy Boy and my brother and me. Along with those spoke about before, there were folks like Andy and Bea, Bill and Hazel, Tom and Judy, Fred, Dorothy, Francis and Bud, Walt and Nettie, (Cannery) Bob and Chillie, Babe and Jerry, John and Ethel, Teresa, Rosalie… recalling a few of the many …some eccentric, some not, but all contributed to life with First Love and Billy Boy. These people are all gone. I have pictures of most of ‘em though, either with the fish they caught, or the deer they bagged, or the celebrations they shared with us. These were all good people. None, that I can recall, ever treaded upon that special giving by First Love and Billy Boy.
It was one of the times that old “Flossie” went to the cabin with us, just to laze around as she didn't fish. Florence was her real name. She must have been at the time in her late fifties or early sixties, I don’t really know because you see, she had, during her younger years, been a “streetwalker” and by the time I knew her, Flossie’s body was pretty worn out and she appeared older than she actually was. She was toothless, which made it hard for a kid to understand her. Yup, and First Love and Billy Boy, like they often did for the down trodden, the lonely, the dispirited and the castaways, took her on as a friend and looked after her. Flossie was a regular patron at the “525” tavern where First Love was bartending.
Now, I gotta leave the course of this telling for a couple minutes here, because you see, it is here, at the “525” tavern where a lot of the folks who First Love and Billy Boy befriended and took care of came from and became part of our family life. There was, folks like Ray an angry young man in his mid-twenties who physically abused his then wife, later, with First Love’s and Billy Boy’s help, he settled down, got married again and was like an older brother to me. There was Virgil, an alcoholic, he had no one. He once sold my brother and me a 1929 Model T Ford…First Love was madder than hell at him for doing that. To stop us from driving it, she barrels out of the house one day armed with a meat fork and tried to puncture the solid rubber tires of that Model T with the tines. Now indeed that was a funny sight! Course it did nothing but twist the fork like a pretzel, making First Love even more madder than hell! Trying hard to contain our laughter, we quickly made an exit, avoiding further wrath from First Love! Virgil straightened out, got married and along with his wife, became an owner of a tavern on the Northern Oregon coast. “OB” was a lost soul without family, Peggy a psychic from Chicago, was an elderly lady who just passed through occasionally…she once read my “future”, and dang if she wasn’t almost 100% accurate! “Old Tom” from the park where Billy Boy worked, was a retired logger who immigrated from the old world to America, First Love and Billy Boy insured that he got the pension money owed him. Unforgettable was Pete, also an ex-logger. But unlike the others who traveled to the cabin with Billy Boy and First Love, one of his adventures there ended in tragedy casting a temporary dark shadow over the place. But that is a story better left for another time.
One of my favorite persons from the “525” was Neilson, “Nelly” that’s what everyone called him, what his full name was I never learned. Not being married, at least when I knew of him, he had no kids. Nelly was a “gandy” dancer” for the Union Pacific when in them days the road gangs stayed out on the tracks for periods of time. I think he was a cook for the gang, but I am not sure of that after all these years. Nelly was a big jolly man, always had a smile on his face, a round belly, and a full almost white beard, sounds like a Santa doesn’t he? Well that would certainly fit him. No matter where I saw him, at the “525” tavern, our home or the cabin, Nelly was a happy man and, unlike a lot of older folks without young’ns, he paid attention to kids, listening to our tales of discovery, and looking at the critters we caught and imprisoned in glass jars. Nelly often traveled with First Love and Billy Boy to the cabin. He liked to fish and had the nature required to sit quietly out on the lake in a boat sometimes hours at a time before a single fish was ever caught. Yup, he was a neat guy. I wish I knew what become of him, then I could tell you too, but over the years I’ve lost track.
There were many such friends, to many to tell about, who joined First Love and Billy Boy either at the cabin or at our home or most often at both places, and specially at holidays. Why I remember times when First Love and my grandmother Lina would fix a Christmas dinner and thirty-five or more people would crowd into our small Portland home to share in the festivities. Some needed the looking after which First Love and Billy Boy would freely give, others were just ordinary folks, but all brought a certain richness to the lives of First Love, Billy Boy and my brother and me. Along with those spoke about before, there were folks like Andy and Bea, Bill and Hazel, Tom and Judy, Fred, Dorothy, Francis and Bud, Walt and Nettie, (Cannery) Bob and Chillie, Babe and Jerry, John and Ethel, Teresa, Rosalie… recalling a few of the many …some eccentric, some not, but all contributed to life with First Love and Billy Boy. These people are all gone. I have pictures of most of ‘em though, either with the fish they caught, or the deer they bagged, or the celebrations they shared with us. These were all good people. None, that I can recall, ever treaded upon that special giving by First Love and Billy Boy.
Well now, I have not forgotten about First Love and “old Flossie” at the cabin on that hot summer’s day about fifty year ago or more, so I’ll return to them for a minute or two. Mid-summer time in central Oregon brings really hot and sticky days. This particular time was no different. While First Love, Billy Boy and me were gone fishing on one of the lakes, probably East Lake, Flossie stayed at the cabin in all that stuffy heat reading one of them romance books she always carried with her. Well, when we got back Flossie and First Love decided they were going to take a “spit bath” while Billy Boy and me cleaned the fish. Now a spit bath, as defined by the ladies, I found out later that day in a surprising way, is when they strip at least to the waist and wash their bodies. My gawd, why not go jump in the Little Deschutes River as us guys all did, it was only a quarter mile away! And it would certainly not create the commotion this day was going to have before it was over. Amen!
It’s important for the rest of the telling of this event that you realize in the early days the cabin was a one-room affair without much privacy. Oh, Billy Boy and I did construct a combined front porch and washroom area which served that purpose for years. Using whatever materials were lying around on the property, he and I roughed-in the washroom by using what I call the “pitch and putt” method. So it wasn’t anything fancy or nothing that would show up in one of those slick “how to do it” magazines! It was, I’d say about ten or twelve feet in length and maybe eight feet wide. On one side was a sort of a counter where the wash pans and water buckets were placed. The opposite side of the washroom held the icebox and storage for this and that. The porch-washroom was the only entrance and exit from the cabin; when going in, you opened the screen door on the outside and entered the porch, walked a few steps, and then opened the front door and stepped up and entered the one-room, kitchen, dinning room, and bedroom living space. So if you got that clear in your mind’s eye, then you’ll appreciate what took place in that small front porch-washroom space when I opened the screen door while at the same time balancing couple of pans of cleaned fish to put in the ice box.
(this is the best picture of the cabin I could come up with clearly showing the "front porch-washroom affair we built!)
(this is the best picture of the cabin I could come up with clearly showing the "front porch-washroom affair we built!)
Pandemonium doesn’t begin to describe the hullabaloo that took place next! Woowie!!! Flossie, stripped to the waste, her tired old body swaying with each movement of foot, was just stepping from inside the cabin to the outer washroom space, she was carrying a bucket of water. Me, holding the screen door open with one foot, and trying to squeeze in with the two pans of fish, was not at first looking at the second doorway, so with a forward, thrusting, stumbling acceleration I continued on. Well, in an instant I knew all was not right! Nope it sure wasn’t! My eyes must have doubled in size, having never seen a naked lady before, but I didn’t have time to stare and fully put together what I was seeing! Nope, cus you see Flossie and me… well we collided, she screamed, slipped, tossed the bucket of water in the air, and promptly fell on her tushy! Me, well I got a “bust” in the eye, if you know what I mean, the fish went everywhere, I got soaked, and my face felt liked it was sunburned red!! Well, let me tell you right now…I picked myself up off that floor and high tailed it back out that screen door faster than a fly landing on cow droppings!! Course First Love and Billy Boy come a-running ‘bout that time…and this was one of them times when First Love wet her pants from laughing so hard, seeing old Flossie lying there on the floor, naked, well at least partially, and all covered with fish! I don’t think Flossie at that moment thought it hilarious. Billy Boy, he arrives and just starts picking up fish. Course they pulled all the fish off poor old Flossie, picked her up off the floor, dried her, and after she and First Love changed clothes, they all had a beer and laughed hysterically about the event. Me, well I took off to the Little Deschutes River, went swimming, and tried to remember what I saw that afternoon at the cabin. Yes sireee, this was one of those historical and significant events which took place at the cabin, my first real look at a real naked lady!!
Well, First Love and Billy Boy had other adventures at the cabin. They continued to make the trip to the “shack” after Billy Boy quit working and retired. First Love sold the place after he passed though. She rarely went there, only going fishing once or twice after he was gone.
It is now time for me to recall one of the last chapters in First Love’s life. It is difficult for me to recount that time, those days, and the troubles that came with them. But it is a chapter and must, then, be told.
Well, First Love and Billy Boy had other adventures at the cabin. They continued to make the trip to the “shack” after Billy Boy quit working and retired. First Love sold the place after he passed though. She rarely went there, only going fishing once or twice after he was gone.
It is now time for me to recall one of the last chapters in First Love’s life. It is difficult for me to recount that time, those days, and the troubles that came with them. But it is a chapter and must, then, be told.
August 31, is a date that holds a terrible place in the life of First Love…On this day in ‘94 I went with her to the doctor’s office to discuss the results of tests to discover the cause of a constant ear ache in her right ear. He told us that it was a cancerous tumor. The cancer had probably begun in her lungs and had spread to the brain area. X-Ray treatments along with medication would shrink the tumor and relieve the pressure and the pain. The doctor wanted a biopsy of the lung to see if that was the beginning of the cancerous area. A spot on First Love’s lungs was reported way back in the late 1940’s following her welding days in the shipyard. Remember I said the work in the shipyard later created a pile of problems for her? She had experienced several flash backs while welding in the “holds” of Victory Ships. These “flashes” had “burned” a spot on the left lung. It had not gotten bigger through all the years, until now. But current pictures compared to old ones showed that the spot had grown.
First Love was hospitalized so that the biopsy could be done to see if the lung area was cancerous. It was. Because it was deep in the lung tissue, the growth could not be removed by surgery or by using the X-Ray beams. The doctor told us that it would eventually spread throughout First Love’s body, as it already had to some areas. He would not tell us how many days or months First Love might have before the cancer final took her. However, he later told me in private that she had less than six months. First Love didn’t have that much time.
As the cancer progressed, she was hospitalized for a week in late October, and then transferred to a nursing home for one and half days before she passed away at 9:15 pm on November 10, 1994.
The days between August 31 and November 10, 1994 are hard to think upon. I wasn’t going to talk about those times, but some of it must be told. If you want, there are further descriptions about those terrible days in several poems I composed a few years following this time period (".....in Memory: Doris Condon"; "You Three””; Three Years: The Third Piece").
Billy Boy had been gone now for fourteen years so it fell to me to be the identified “caretaker”. It was like First Love was calling all her care giving markers in, and I am not sure I measured up to all the attention First Love wanted and demanded in her way. Oh, I looked after her as best I could. I was in continual contact with her doctor. I spent time with her during the two occasions she was hospitalized. I visited several nursing homes and made arrangements with one for her to be transferred to the home when the time came. I set-up care with Hospice in case she could go to her own home to finish out her days. Along with First Love’s neighbor and close friend Sylvia, I looked after the house and her cat Patches while she was hospitalized. During the days she lived at home, I tried to be there as often as I could. First Love never became laid up. She took care of her daily needs, kept her house up and generally went about her business. I have to admire her, as First Love was in health, she was in sickness, a strong willed person even during this time. She saw to it that her affairs were up to date. She made calls to folks in her address book and letting them know of her illness. She made sure all the phone numbers and addresses were caught up which was helpful to me when she passed. More than anything, I wish I had talked and done more with her during those times. But that was difficult to do. And, I think I’ll say no more and just leave it right there.
The days between August 31 and November 10, 1994 are hard to think upon. I wasn’t going to talk about those times, but some of it must be told. If you want, there are further descriptions about those terrible days in several poems I composed a few years following this time period (".....in Memory: Doris Condon"; "You Three””; Three Years: The Third Piece").
Billy Boy had been gone now for fourteen years so it fell to me to be the identified “caretaker”. It was like First Love was calling all her care giving markers in, and I am not sure I measured up to all the attention First Love wanted and demanded in her way. Oh, I looked after her as best I could. I was in continual contact with her doctor. I spent time with her during the two occasions she was hospitalized. I visited several nursing homes and made arrangements with one for her to be transferred to the home when the time came. I set-up care with Hospice in case she could go to her own home to finish out her days. Along with First Love’s neighbor and close friend Sylvia, I looked after the house and her cat Patches while she was hospitalized. During the days she lived at home, I tried to be there as often as I could. First Love never became laid up. She took care of her daily needs, kept her house up and generally went about her business. I have to admire her, as First Love was in health, she was in sickness, a strong willed person even during this time. She saw to it that her affairs were up to date. She made calls to folks in her address book and letting them know of her illness. She made sure all the phone numbers and addresses were caught up which was helpful to me when she passed. More than anything, I wish I had talked and done more with her during those times. But that was difficult to do. And, I think I’ll say no more and just leave it right there.
There is more to tell in the aftermath of First Love’s passing, a time most trying for me. She had not anticipated that her passing would create unimaginable greed. Greed is such a horrid thing! But I am not up to recalling those events right now, so come back another day when I can maybe find the strength to carry on with that part of the story.
As First Love wanted, her body was cremated and the remains placed with her mother in Lina’s resting place at the top of Mt. Scott. Lying next to them is First Love’s stepfather, Charlie Collins. The two brothers, Charlie and Eddie are across the street in the veterans Willamette National Cemetery. Billy Boy? Why he is across the Columbia River, close by his home town of Yacolt. I scattered his ashes not to far from town at Lucia Falls State Park on the Lewis River. This special place was Billy Boy and (Cannery”) Bob’s favorite swimming hole. It was in late October of ’80, when Mt. St. Helens erupted for the last time when I put Billy Boy’s ashes along the riverbank!
Well this has been quite a remembrance of First Love, so much to tell! Ten years have now gone by since First Love joined Billy Boy. I don’t think there is a day goes by that I don’t think of ‘em both. Billy Boy, his quiet, almost shy mannerisms, the twinkle in his eyes covering the sadness from deep scares of childhood, carried an understated but stalwart presence. First Love more of an outward individual, never hesitating to let you know what she was thinking, was a commanding person, which at times hid the underlying softness which she kept secreted away. Chameleon like, she adapted to any social situation or group she found herself in, short term or long term!
You know, years ago, while First Love and Billy Boy still walked with us, I came to terms with each one’s imperfections and failings. But more importantly, I came to appreciate, admire, respect and understand the strength of character First Love and Billy Boy both gained from difficult childhoods; and how both in turn, together, unspoken, demonstrated throughout their adult lives this strength in their daily conduct of things. Their time together was, and still is in my thinking, a model for those who would watch, listen, and learn about how to live life. Oh, not without hurt and failings, but with dignity, grace and with small successes found sprinkled along the pathways and if these were nurtured they could continue to grow to become bigger ones. Yes, indeed First Love and Billy Boy were a remarkable pair, their love was an amazing one, and I surely do miss them both. I will see them again some day, in the meantime, what I have told about each serves to keep them living, active, and present in our minds. Thank you for sitting a while and taking the time to hear of my memories of First Love, I know she would like that.
tedc August 29, 2004
(edited text and added graphics for web page Sept.24. 2006)
In loving memory of my parents,
Bill and Doris Condon,
their lives impacted the many.
tedc Sept. 24, 2006
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