Anger

Oh Jane, why oh why ....must he go so soon we have not done all that could be done! Have not talked about those things we could have shared in the years to come.

I dont want him to leave just yet there is to much to do, but I am told I must let him go without regret!

No he must not leave us now, he cant, the full story is not written( just yet).

My heart is filled with so much sadness stop this madness I scream, I must awaken from this nightmare it is not real, is something wrong, who ordered his death so early in the game!

Who ruled my brother to this end, what authority have you to interfere in what is good and right, what omnipotency do you claim to have such insight, no you are wrong to cast this evil deed upon our lives!

No, dont tell me, "that nothing is fair, life is just

like that", no I am afraid that's full of only hot air!

So just who in the hell are you to lecture me with

platitudes and nice little packaged goods! I am

talking about my brother and friendship that stood!

No I reject your self interests, that you know what's best, I lived this life, I know what I feel and what I think, and I am not ready to buy your part of the story, not just yet.

I will win in the end, as I must because, you see I have loved him and him me, and that you can not take!

And if I must give him up, it will only in body be, for in spirit I shall carry him on with a gladness in my heart and a peacefulness in my soul, where he shall dwell and the memory not be taken away from me on this or any other day.

So it is I, you see, who will not without fight let him go, retaining a soul part for me to keep.

T.Condon Nov.'97

    Anguish

There is no one here, there is no one near. Oh God dont leave me like this, I am in despair! Cant you hear my anguish cries?

Oh God, dont leave me to look through tearful eyes, lead me out of this darken tunnel! Bring the light, that shining sight I need that tonight. 

The end is near, there is no return, the time is done and he will be gone. Give me the strength to walk this precipice so deep and dangerous that I wont stumble to the ground and not be found. 

Lift my eyes high, lift them, so that I might see...take my hand, and hold it tight so that I will not falter...move, move my legs now so weak that I will walk and not freeze upon this stand. Take, take this heart now, and dont let it fall apart but let it speak the words I seek, my soul to find a way through all this thunder I feel tonight.

T.Condon Dec. '97

Dont Ask of Me

Don, you’re gone... it is now done.

I know, I know, it had to be. I'll try, Ill try but I cant promise not to cry, please dont ask of me what I can not do. I can not hold back the tears that sweep the sadness from my soul, and I can not follow where you have now gone.

The sadness rips at my being to tear the fabric from where it grew, the friendship always there, the pathways worn so through.

Don, please dont ask me what I can not do, I can not hold back the tears that flood my eyes, my heart to break, my soul to seek that friendship grasp I long to feel, the one we knew when first we walked as brothers do.

Don, please help my heart to seek that place, that inner space, where mortals reach in desperate grasp the soul to rest, to set aside the mournful, wretched, lonesome cry to let the tears their course run dry.

Please Don, accept this one last cry dont ask of me what I can not do. This grief, that stays to dim the view, plays upon the shadow of you, where once the light shown through I can not now see the whole of you.

Darkness descends, thunder roars, wind races and torrents pour across the valley floors where in moments past we stood, the rays of life but ours to catch, to hold, and ride the end to never come.

We stood in challenge many a night, put harness to the wind, dared the loud clap of voices to dispel, and made many shelters the rain to repel, we climbed the valley walls not to be stalled by false prophecies to befall.

We've done all these things, you and I, and much more of course along the way. I have done what you have asked, as you have done as I so asked. But let me ask of you this time, just this one time, please dont ask what I can not give.

I can not let you go without a tear, I can not close my eyes and wish you not here, I can not rejoice at your leave, nor step upon this spot and have you not near.

Time will dispel this awful fear, this sadness not to linger here, but for now please, do not ask what I can not do. This sorrow... I must unleash.

T. Condon, Dec. 1997

The Final Act

On a cold winters day we left you there the clouds were gray this hour and day, the sun did hide, the soul not seen, the spirit rose to take its final silent flight.

This was the hour you sought so long, the time now come and gone for you to walk along the paths that carried you on.

The peace you sought is yours to keep....No pain, nor fear, or anguish remain to bind you to this earthly time.

In final act I reached to touch you where you lay the sadness to allay, as I lifted you to the cart I said the words to depart, "good-bye my friend, good-bye, we are not apart." (this is not the final act)

So now softly you sleep in peaceful silent slumber, your spirit free, free to rise where now the soul resides to join us all in future reprise.

T. Condon Dec.'97