Simply A Man
You came from the East to settle in the West. The accent still lingered whenever you spoke to signal your sound, just to let others know you were around. You came with some baggage all part and parcel, defining just who you would be. No one was quite sure just what that ought to be.
At times you were as gentle as a lamb, warm, cuddly and thoughtful too. You could reach out a hand, extend a hearty welcome to those in need of a friend. The smile would glow, a twinkle from the crooked eye would sneak it's show. Yes, you would give this side to those who sought your time, but not always was it so cool.
There was another reflection in the setting. It made its appearance sometimes unexpectedly. If prelude seen, I could not foretell, it was not part of the story I had been let in on. Those times could be loud, marked with strong hurtful words, derisive descriptions, and "put-me-downs" geared to the quick, and accompanied by that awful frown. Just as soon as it began, it spilled over in a splash not lasting till the dawn. Yes, you could give this side to those who sought your time, thankfully it was not the kind to come around on any most ordinary day.
Wheeling and dealing was your stock in trade. "Why, just make me an offer", you could be heard to say. Not many took away the deal of the life time, probably there was none to be had. But still you bandied and bartered, cajoled, and pleaded, cried "oh woe is me", a time or two, and still ended with a deal as fair as any would be. Or so I am lead to believe.
Some family you had, daughters, ex-spouses, sisters of sorts, some uncles, and cousins of course. There were occasions on which all would create some grief, but the one who called your name, took your time, and left you scratching your head, was the woman who gave you your name. She lived so far, back there where you had traveled from. Her plight was not always in the light, but to it you would ride trying to make it all just quite right. Sometimes it might work out without a doubt, but mostly you paid the price and swallowed your pride. A son of duty was how you saw your side.
Along the way you lost some folks, replacements were never found. Theodore was one, you called him brother, he left you at any early age, the strife to hard for him to overcome. Not to long ago, within a memories length, a man you called dad and one from whom you learned a lot, bid his adieu and found his way to the heavenly skies. There are no doubt some more who meant a lot, but their visibility was not called out for me to say much about. So we'll let it end just right there, you know them, no need for me to name them all.
Your life was not an easy one. The time you spent in youthful play was not much to come your way. Adulthood was not a bed of roses made, it too contained a thorn or two. Marriage and fatherhood all came to quick, tasks not ready for the man unsure just where he wanted to be. Though not far from your wakeful thoughts, you seemed to put these conflicts aside, to make the best of what had been wrought.
While some may question just how you lived your life, no man can judge another till he too has walked that mile in the shoes of the other. It is often quicker to condemn than it is to understand, swifter to pass a fleeting conclusion than to stop, analysis, and ask the question why. Only a fool would say, "he should have known better."
That the end came about all so quickly is something to give thought about. Who is it among mortal man, can claim authority, decide fates of fellow beings, and sit upon the "council-right" to command such a final act? Let him appear and give his say, should such a person exist, if one does at all. I would like to hear him make his case for stealing a soul, an act of thievery he had no right to call.
But what now must become of those who are left behind, to pick up the pieces, go on with the daily lives, is that all and nothing more? What shall we make of it, this man, a lover, friend, father and a son, a living mortal man, a soul whisked from here in such an awful way?
We shall mourn his passing. We will always be mindful despite the grief now rising, we are more fully appreciative having known, that not to have at all. Surely each gives and will take a balance in relationships that pass our way, shall that not be the case here? Think of what was given, and what was yours to receive, and therein shall lie the truth of what this man and you were about. Recall in times of pain and sorrow strong, the days of laughter and of song, for surely they too must claim a place in the mind when troubles come along.
I ask that not a martyr make, but place in picture-stills a man who was as he was, lived as he did, chose the things he chose, and tried to see it all through the best he could, knowing what he knew, and knowing that peace is not found as an easy task.
So we come to the end. With a mournful cry, we bid him farewell. His soul has now gone, joining the spirit in flight, to seek the soft, silent, slumber, of a peaceful, and final easy sleep.
T. Condon, Jan. 28, 1998
